I Can Do Better Than You
by xmagic.siriusx
Summary: Marauder years!Sirius and Tessa are both bad to the bone and after a fling last year they become enemies.Both determined to out do each other in everything bad...more inside...!
1. Just Fun

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters etc all are the wonderful creation of JKR but I do own any fictional characters created just for this fic.

**Summary: **Marauder years! Sirius and Tessa are both bad to the bone and after a fling last year they become enemies. Both determined to out do each other in everything bad...but can they keep this up when to his friends Sirius is supposed to be a good little angel and Tessa has a boyfriend? Rating M for language and suggestiveness (if that's even a word). Also L/J romance.

**Note:** _oooo _means a change in time or setting

Hmm…ok here's my attempt at writing a normal fanfic lol hope you enjoy.

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It was the hottest day of the year and everyone in Tuebella Close was indoors trying to avoid the scorching sun, all except two boys. The latter were lounging on the Potter's front lawn picking lazily at a large box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. Sirius was the taller of the two and had shoulder length black hair that flopped into his pale grey eyes. Chiselled features gave him that ruggedly hansom look and along with a well toned, muscular body and white complexion it was obvious that he was a hit with the ladies. His friend James had a wiry build and was obviously a well-trained athlete; his hair was dark brown, short and ruffled. Lastly, small glasses framed hazel eyes and set his angular face.

"Have I picked up a tan yet?" sighed Sirius stripping down to his waste to let the rays scorch more of his now slightly reddened skin.

"Um…I would be lying if I said yes. Well let me put it this way…could a tomato get any redder?" laughed James.

At this Sirius' face turned to despair, "Prong what the hell am I going to do? My good looks have been burnt to bits, frazzled, god what if the girls disown my body?" He screeched jumping up. "How will I cope without my regular dosage of arse pinching? My poor butt, no more will it be squeezed or slapped…it will feel unloved."

"I'm sure your derrière will still receive enough attention to keep it from dropping off," replied James trying to calm Sirius from his frantic state.

After these soothing words Sirius relaxed a little and resumed his original place on the lawn. "Phew, can you imagine if my sweet, adorable, perfectly toned and absolutely scrumptious bum fell off? It would be the end to…well practically the end to my life."

James smiled to himself, for someone supposedly so clever how could they appear so dumb? Sirius was definitely wrapped up in his own image. When it came to his looks he took what people said too literally.

He decided to change the subject for fear that his friend would make a bigger arse of himself than he was now. Yes, before Sirius spread dragon mucus over his face every night for a whole week when someone said it would improve looks. He would've carried on doing do if it hadn't brought him out in green boils.

"So Padfoot," exclaimed James, "Who've you got your eye on this year?"

"No one in particular at the moment. I'll see who's around when we get there, if you know what I mean." Sirius replied coolly laughing. Tomorrow they would be back on the Hogwart's express then onto school itself where they'd be entering their fifth year. Sirius couldn't wait; not only would he be the centre of attention yet again with all the girls falling at his feet, but he was determined to get as many of them as he could. God he was so irresistible.

"Yeah I know what your like. Would have thought that after those girls had experienced your reputation then they would've stopped falling for you. Yet still you seem to bag the best." James pointed out.

_James was so true_ thought Sirius _he was like a god to them no matter what. He could put on that sexy grin and all the girls would turn to jelly at the sight_ of him.

"What can I say Prongs, it's not my fault I'm so god dam irresistible." Sirius bragged, and with that James punched him lightly at his lack of modesty. "So how are things going with Lily?"

Suddenly, James looked gloomy. "Not so well, still thinks I'm an ass. She won't give me the time of day," he sighed. Sirius knew he'd ruined the mood and now was going to pay for it; James had once again turned into an emotional wreck over his 'Lilykins' as Sirius liked to call her.

"Come on, let's go out somewhere. How about Diagon Alley? Stock up on the pranks for tomorrow, I've got a brilliant idea for a trap outside Filch's office," Sirius suggested trying to cheer up his friend. This seemed to draw James out of his sulk and bring him back to his normal, jokey self. Sirius inwardly felt relieved; he couldn't stand all this moping for much longer.

_oooooooooooooooooooooo_

Platform 9 and ¾ was crowed with bustling pupils waiting for the Hogwarts express on 1st September. Everyone was either trying to find their friends or saying good-bye to family when two boys fell through the barrier just as the whistle blew.

"Sirius you ass, now we're going to miss the train cause you can't think with your brain for just one second," James shouted in mock anger pushing through a throng of parents exiting the station. "I bet you would have stayed with those girls if I hadn't dragged you away." As the two friends had been making their way to the train Sirius had spotted a group of '_hot babes_' as he called them and wanted to '_check em out_'.

Suddenly, Sirius and James felt a hand clap them both on the back as a head appeared between them. "Hey guys," said the girl. Silky, raven black hair hung in front of her face hiding one eye from onlookers. Her piercing crystal blue eyes were framed with black knol and her lips were painted aubergine contrasting with her milky white skin. Her body was surprisingly slender for her height, this was probably to do with the fact she had been a beater on the Gryffindor Quiditch team since the second year.

"Oh, hi Tessa," replied Sirius lugging his trunk onto the train. _At least we weren't the last ones to arrive _he thought. She had probably been off with one of her 'bonk buddies' as he liked to call them for a quickie. "So how come you were late?"

"Man, did you see those hunks at platform 2. God they were fit, just _had_ to stop and talk to them, got their numbers to." She said excitedly as she to hauled her belongings aboard. Finally, when James had got on, the trio set off to find their friends - Lily, Remus and Peter.

After searching everywhere they eventually found Peter, a small squat boy with a round face and dirty blonde hair, sat alone in the last compartment.

"Yo Wormtail, where's Remus?" Questioned James as Sirius and Tessa dumped their trunks and sat down, or more like sprawled, across the long benches to prevent anyone else sitting.

"Um…prefect duties I think with Lily." Peter answered timidly. It was surprising that the coolest gang, the marauders, would accept such a wimp like him but it had always been that way.

James shoved Sirius out of the seat so as to make room for himself and Peter "Oh yeah. Thank Merlin that I didn't get one of those badges, imagine, no more pranks etc. I'd have to be all proper and sensible. That'd be torture," he said, disgusted at the thought of having to give up one of what he considered to be the most enjoyable past times ever - breaking rules.

"Man we'd have to be taking points off of ourselves," cried Sirius in alarm picking himself up off the floor and moodily conjuring up a squishy chair for himself.

The reason why Gryffindor had not won the house cup in five years was thanks to the disgraceful behaviour of a certain few; Sirius, James and Tessa. Remus and Lily were generally the good ones who did their homework and got to lessons on time. Peter was too scared of the consequences if they got caught so often kept out the way when pranking was in progress. However, Sirius and James always had new ideas for some joke or other and Tessa was just a born troublemaker.

All of a sudden the carriage door burst open and in came two pupils. The first was a girl with long auburn hair that was naturally wavy and emerald green eyes that shone bright. She was of an average height and was already dressed in her school robes that had a sparkling golden badge pinned above the motif. Next was a tall boy with sandy hair. Everything about him looked tired and weary except for his eyes, these were an unusually light brown and dazzled like gemstones. He to had a badge fastened on his robes.

"Moony old pal," shouted James as he got up and slapped the boy on the back, "I feel so sorry for you. Prefect? That's the end of your marauding years, got to face up to your responsibility now and grow up. Especially when that stickler Evans is your partner in authority." The red headed girl named Lily shot out her hand trying to punch James hard but his quick reflexes let him duck in time to miss it.

"You know, I grew up years ago," Replied Remus casually. "I think you'll find you're the one who has a mental age of two." With this James looked outraged at this remark.

"Ha bloody ha Moony, my sides are cracking," said James sourly. (A/N: the expression on his face is what's known as 'squinty eyed pirate' for those of you who know what it is.)

"Yes I found it quite amusing to," exclaimed Remus.

"No…I was being sarcastic. I thought you of all people would have known what that is."

"Prongs, I'm not stupid unlike you. I did understand; it is what's called whit." Remus sighed; although he loved his friends, no not in any gay way…it was a brotherly kind of love, he did occasionally get tired of their constant mental incapacity to comprehend him.

"Huh?" James looked very confused. _He_ had thought his answer had been very clever but once again Remus had outsmarted him and made him look a fool.

"Don't worry I didn't understand all of it either," said Peter sympathetically. I'm still baffled about the cracking sides thing. You know my mum gave me a very good book called 'magic medicines'. I could find a cure for your sides if you like? Is it an invisible break cause I can't see anything." And with that Peter started to inspect James' side.

"Wormtail, your getting to be like Evans and Padfoot. They also take things too sincerely," joked James pushing his probing friend away from his side.

"Duck!" Shouted Remus as another fist came shooting in his direction from Lily.

"Lilykins lay off poor Prongs. What did he do wrong this time?" Laughed Sirius.

"What did he do?" She spluttered in dismay. "I'll tell you what he did…he insulted me, and you come to think of it. Said we were too serious."

"What!" Cried Sirius, " the master of pranks is never called serious. You know my life's ambition was to never live up to my name. James, do you know what this means…"

"Hang on a sec, you said your life's ambition was?"

"I know. You labelled me that so I'll just have to stick with it. No longer have you got a partner in crime. I am now determined to do right and be extra serious from here forth."

The whole carriage let out a gasp. Could the all time prankster and rule breaker quit his job and turn angel? Surely not.

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot…" said Sirius turning to James. Suddenly his clenched fist was flying towards James' face. There was no time for the victim to duck or dodge the blow, so consequently he took a full on punch from a Gryffindor beater right in his left eye. "…Don't insult me again."

Sirius regally sat down into the place where he thought the chair with only to find himself flat on his arse and listening to a round of applause.

The rest of the journey was spent trying to restrain Lily whilst James who kept taunting her about her respect for rules.

Sirius was determined to do the right thing for once in his life.

"Hey! Where'd you think your going?" cried Sirius, jumping up to stop Tessa escaping though the door after everyone when the train ground to a halt.

She turned to him and sighed. "What now?"

"Well I thought, you know, after what happened last term we ought to talk," replied Sirius stepping closer to her.

"Um…well I don't have anything to say. It was just a casual fling but now it's over, no big deal. I thought you of all people would have known that."

"Yeah of course I did," blagged Sirius shaking off what he's just said. He might've been a babe magnet but he would never understand girls, didn't it always mean something unless you let them down? But then this was Tessa, the girl who had a new boyfriend every week and took who she wanted.

"Good…well we better get up to the feast, watch the little midgets getting sorted," laughed Tessa and off they both set feeling slightly uncomfortable in each other's presence. It had just been a bit of fun…hadn't it?

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Ok…so there was the first chap. You like? Please please please R&R cause I want to know if there's anything which needs improving.


	2. Revenge Bliss?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters etc all are the wonderful creation of JKR but I do own any fictional characters created just for this fic.

**Summary: **Marauder years! Sirius and Tessa are both bad to the bone and after a fling last year they become enemies. Both determined to out do each other in everything bad...but can they keep this up when to his friends Sirius is supposed to be a good little angel and Tessa has a boyfriend? Rating M for language and suggestiveness (if that's even a word). Also L/J romance.

**Note:** _oooo_ means a change in time and setting

Sorry I had to repost the last chapter cause the formatting went all wrong…hope it's better now. I'll try to update ASAP but can't promise anything. This chap's called **_Revenge Bliss?_**

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"Sirius! Get a bloody move on, we're going to be late." Shouted James hammering on the bathroom door.

A lot of moaning and groaning could be heard before an angry voice eventually answered. "Piss of prongs, cant you hear I'm busy with my Swedish girl."

"I know it's only you in there," James sniggered back. "Stop wanking and get out."

"What do you mean? There so is a hot Swedish hunny in here, she's called Ida and is…uh…21," Sirius replied hurt before he unlocked the door. "Fantastic figure…only problem is she's a magazine cut out". And with that he thrust a copy of 'Wonder Witches Weekly' at James.

A look of mock anger spread across the boy's face. "I can't believe you, you borrowed my magazine…without asking. And by the way, she's Danish," he shouted storming into the bathroom and slamming the door.

"I can't believe the cheek of some people, eh Moony." Sirius said dismissing what to anyone else but him would've been an embarrassing incident. He started poking the sandy haired boy who was now trying to escape under the sheets.

"Padfoot go away I'm trying to sleep."

"But it's my big day, you know, getting my own back on Tessa for what she did to me. Come on get up, you can't possibly miss it," Sirius whined.

"You deserved what you got. Just bugger off and leave me in peace…anyway I thought you were becoming respectable this year?"

"Uh…that starts tomorrow cause there's no way in hell I'm not getting my own back. I was crushed by her, made to look a pillock…humph…you're really not coming to watch the show?

"NO! For the last time LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Well suit yourself, I'm off to find some absolutely gorgeous ladies who will smoother me with kisses and lick the ground I walk on, then off to watch the fun," Sirius said grumpily stomping out of the dorm with a flourish.

If anyone else had executed this walk Remus would have surely thought them gay. But as Sirius had a reputation, a very big reputation, for being a serial womaniser he just thought his friend's camp antics funny. Sirius seriously did think he ruled the school.

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

"Tessa, Tessa, wake up. For god's sake wake up it's the first day of term." Shouted Lily, drawing back the curtains to the dorm and letting the first rays of light stream through. This was her first day as prefect and she wanted to make a good impression, that meant being on time and prepared for anything. So long she had been waiting for that golden badge to come to her, so long she had dreamt of wearing it. Now, finally she was going to be looked up to, an authoritative figure for others. Man, she was starting to sound like the minister of magic at his ceremonial speeches. In the end she decided to leave her best friend to slumber on and went to get dressed.

Just as she was about to head down to breakfast Tessa stumbled groggily out of bed. The two had been friends ever since the first day of school. Well maybe not the first day because the moment Tessa had caught sight of Lily she had sent one of her special bat bogie hexes at her. However, after a trip to Madame Pomfrey and since they had been forced to become partners in a Niffler exercise throughout the first week they had become best of friends. Everyone knew that if they saw one, the other would be by their side, it was always the way…Lily and Tessa, Riley and Evans.

"Oh my head," she said staggering slightly over to her chest of drawers to fetch her wand. She pointed it at her head, muttered a few words and scowled. After repeating this process twice she stuck her head around the dormitory door. "Lily!"

"No need to shout," said Lily tapping her friend on her back, "what is it now?"

"My head…bright lights…wand not working," she mumbled falling back onto the bed with a thump. "Do one of those hangover spells on me, I can't get mine to work."

Lily frowned, she disapproved of her friends frequent alcohol misuse and had it been any other day she would have forced her to suffer the consequences of her actions. However, this _was_ their first day back and she was in an especially good mood today. What the heck! She pulled out her wand and muttered a few words.

"Ow! Did you do that deliberately? I know you don't like me drinking but did you have to hurt me?" Shouted Tessa clutching her head.

"Uh…I didn't mean to…" she replied. What had gone wrong?

"Yes you did," said Tessa butting in. "Ow ow ow…still hurting…ow ow…even more than usual."

"Hang on Tess, you didn't have anything to drink last night, did you?"

"Uh…Sirius turned my pumpkin juice into rum but that was only one glass. HA! I bet that bugger did something to it, that little weasel." And with this sudden discovery she jumped off the bed and rushed from the room still in her pyjamas.

"Tess, getting changed might help first," called Lily.

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Sirius paused for a moment at a mirror in the empty common room just to check his appearance. How could anyone resist him? He ran his hands over his arse and pouted as if posing for a photograph. Man, he was fit.

"Padfoot, is someone taking your picture?" questioned Peter, obviously confused why his friend was acting in this strange way.

"Uh…yeah Pete. Didn't you see them, they just left," replied Sirius hastily obviously embarrassed that his friend had caught him checking himself out. "I'm off to…to…go and find them, you know they nicked my camera and all, terrible, atrocious behaviour," if he had mentioned going to breakfast then Peter would have been sure to follow him. Yeah they were friends but he wasn't really first choice to take along when on the pull, even this early in the morning.

Unexpectedly a shout erupted from the girl's dormitory stairs. "Sirius Black you son of a bitch. Where the fuck do you think your going?"

Sirius wheeled around at the mention of his name, crap he hadn't got away quick enough. Dam Peter, nice guy but he didn't half pick the wrong time for one of his pointless chats.

Tessa was stood at the top of the stairs looking like she was about to kill him with her bare hands.

"Why of course to come and see how my favourite person in the entire was," he said plastering a big grin on his face and hoping that Tessa wouldn't get too mad with him. He had experienced this once before and ended up chained to a pillar in the great hall wearing a pink lycra leotard.

"Enough of your bullshit, what the hell happened to my head."

"I have no idea my sugar plum, what ever happened to your beautiful head is nothing to do with me hunny bunny." Could he charm his way out of this? Her thunderous face quickly changed to a beaming smile and she started to make her way towards him.

"Of course not, silly me. You know I forgot how this year you were planning to be a little angel. It must have someone else that tampered with my drink. Gosh, that Lily, she's such a minx sometimes," she simpered sidling right up to Sirius and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Good, thought Sirius, she believed me. I'm getting to be an ace at wheedling out of tight spots, she'd pulverised me if she knew I'd cast a hangover spell on her. Suddenly he felt excruciating pain flood through his groin area. Tessa had kneed him exactly where it really hurt.

"You don't think that I believed any of that shit. Sirius you talk out of your arse."

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Ok…bit of a nonsense chap there…but I needed it to move the story on. I think the next chap will be a bit more fun…Quiditch tryouts…and after that it should be getting really good. I've planned it all so I know what's going to happen just need to get there.

There's my bit of rambling…any idea's what could happen at Quiditch tryouts? Let me know and I'll try to include them. Please R&R with anything…useful knowledge or just plain crap, it all keeps me motivated to writing more.


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